PINAKIN and the Doomsday!

This post was pending for a long time.

During the first year of law school, we have been taught the meaning of the word ‘LAW’ and also the various sources which induced its origin. Among the numerous origins, two most relevant points for this post are:

1. Precedents: In a layman’s language, it would mean any statement of law made by a judge in a case, can become binding on later judges and can become the law for everyone to follow. In common usage, it would be like an example set forth.

2. Traditions: They are basically, different local practices in a state, community or any geographical body, which existed since ‘time immemorial’ and which were practiced by the inhabitants there. They are established patterns of behavior that can be objectively verified within a particular social setting

So when in the summer of 2004, I entered PINAKIN, I was given a detectable indication of the prevailing customs, the precedents laid down and also the law which was in a nascent stage at that point of time.

To give a small overview of Pinakin, it is an accommodation for bachelor students, in one of the posh localities of a town situated 18° 34' North| 73° 58' East- Planet Earth. It has been an abode for existing and future entrepreneurs, business experts, HR savants, Marketing Gurus, Finance Pundits and surprisingly, Legal Heavyweights too!

The place is governed by a pain-in-the-ass (as remarked by Bakri) landlady, who loves to shout the name “Arindam” every now and then, and more often when the person is “basking” in his room. The maid servant i.e. bai or more precisely in terms of the residents- the SPY, acts as the law enforcement machinery, who supervises the implementation of all the rules and regulations laid down by the Lady and also monitors any suspicious moves of the residents which might anticipate rebel, disharmony or chaos.

Thus, the Lady is aware of all the happenings and also at times the “mis-happenings” going inside Pinakin. From shifting of chairs from one room to another to joining of two beds. From knowing the color of ones bedsheet to the usage of ones towel by another. From gathering of friends for dinner to chats between the lovers outside the house. And from the holy smoke of the burning tobacco to the pure aroma of the nectar.

Now talking about the precedents and customary rituals; it has been observed that whenever a resident enters this place for inhabiting and subsequently departs, when his objective is fulfilled, there is a remarkable difference on two spheres, his relationship status and physical attributes.

When the occupant commences his stay here, he is either single or courting somebody. If he is single, he gets involved into a relationship, weave dreams of a well settled life and as soon as he is about to leave, his story comes to an end. And on the other hand, if he is dating a damsel, the chemistry goes perfectly fine between them till his final months of stay and eventually he faces the same destiny.

The resident enters this new place with new set of clothes for going to the new college. However, what is surprising is the fresh set of outfit turns into stale in a very short span of time. It’s NOT because the cupboards are poorly maintained and dwelled by termites, but on account of an imbalance in the residents Body Mass Index, which is caused by a substantial increase in weight.

Now after residing here for almost four years and also being the senior most citizen of this place, I hereby take this privilege to promulgate and enact the following legal principle for ones stay at Pinakin:

Any person, who by virtue of his own will or under any compulsion resides in Pinakin,

a) shall lose his beloved, or if he is single, he would somehow get his darling and will eventually fail to pursue her; and

b) that he would also gain an obnoxious amount of weight which will lead to an increase in the size of his waist as well as the consequent expenses.

The above law is based on traditions which have been pre-dominating since last couple of years and also on many precedents and witnesses, who are none other that the ex and the existing residents.

2004: Marhu, Jumbo, Baba and DJ experienced their relationship issue. While leaving, their waistlines were increased by at least four inches taking the figures to 36”, 40”, 34” and 34” respectively.

2005: Naulakha, Niroj, and Mowgli were troubled in their love life. Some of the survivors had to succumb to the forces of their parents and settled for an arranged marriage. In one year, they were looking like Uncles from college going kids, due to the visible double chins and the belly.

2006: Bakri, Pinky a.k.a Nero and again Mowgli; all were once happy with their respective partners. Shit Happened! Today, all are enjoying their single status. They have also made some heavy shopping during the sale season for lose-fit trousers. Even Neelanjan realized his flab below the chin while shaving, sometime in January.

2007: ME. Devastated and broken! Infact, Rup Chand and I are on a spree to create an unsurpassed record for weight increase in the history of Pinakin. He is maintaining 110 kgs, I am only 20 kgs behind him. Papi says that he would try to cut down his beer intake to remove the adipose tissues.

Now there were also certain exceptions to the law who were not influenced by this jinx. And they are worth mentioning in this post.

2004: Gambler. The guy who taught me that “Tito, if it’s difficult for you to save money, try to earn money”. You rock, Dude.

2005: Surekha. He has become an entrepreneur with a flourishing business in South east Asia. Though his paunch was an issue at that time, but I think hard work and labor has melted it.

2006: Prem. To the best of my knowledge, the most highly “work-ex’ed” student in the Institute’s history. A fellow worshipper of beef-fest. After the placements we will have some great time.

2007: CEO saab and Papi. CEO has negated the effects of the jinx by staying as slimmer as possible, perhaps change in trends and we might see the future residents losing heavy pounds of weight rather than putting on. And, I hope Papi shaves before his marriage, and leads a great life ahead.

To conclude, I am delighted to take this aureate opportunity to wish success and growth, not mainly physical, to all the ex-, existing and future residents of this memorable place. It was wonderful meeting everybody and we had a great time here.

Keep Rocking

Cheers!